Monday, June 8, 2020

"The greatest thing we can possibly gain from this life is the ability to love, and to love greatly." -- Harold Klemp

Blog,

I want to disclose everything I am to you:

I am settling into whatever this is.

I am happy there are bodies of water I can bike to.

Today I will swim from one shore to another,

Like a boat following light or noise.

Blog, I am loosing track of certain things.

I am staying up later at night.

I bought a book that was withdrawn from the Douglas Public Library.

I am amazed how many Douglas Public Libraries there are.

(The book is from Castle Rock, Colorado.)

I got a letter from Grant today. I want to see Grant--and soon.

Whatever this is, I am lonely.

I am waiting to be called.

It is hot in Minnesota:

Nikki said her favorite part of the Midwest is the hot, thick summer.

I feel like a painting becoming sun bleached.

Blog, are you made of water too?

I am nervous you are not.

What if you are not?

You can change forms.

I keep editing, blog.

You must be an experiment in revision.

My body is also experiment in revision.

All along I have carried myself inside me.

I no longer resist that irresistible self.

I have returned to where I coded so deeply even to myself,

and I have fallen back into my old ways.

Sometimes it is safest to recede,

like water become vapor,

or like vapor becoming water,

or like water becoming ice--without the right light you cannot see my contours.

I show them to you, blog.

Blog, you have been published and changed.

Like a name.

Like a body.

Like a body of water.

Blog, I just want to tell you how it feels to inhabit a memory:

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