Friday, May 15, 2020

"The point of any religion should be this: how to open your heart to love." -- Harold Klemp

Blog,

I said there was a lot to tell you. As you know, I am not good at writing large, spiritual things.

For the last year I have been trying to write a poem about standing off a beach on Long Island, with Lucas and Grant, our clothes on the largest rock.

I have been trying to write about seeing Connecticut on the other side of the water.

I have been trying to write about birds scattering across the beach.

I have been trying to write about becoming aware and loosing sense of myself at the same time.

I forgot to try writing about the radio playing, as Grant drove his mom's truck.

I forgot to write about playing scrabble--long after scattering all of my possessions across Penn station, looking for Jasper's keys; long after drinking a whole bottle of water and watching Lucas finally sleep on the train; long after reading a chapter of Salt Houses, which I spent the entire summer reading; long after trying Grant's new veggie burger recipe; and still long before falling asleep.

I forgot to write about the beach the next day, and frying all of my skin, burning myself from the inside out.

I even tried writing about the source of the Mississippi river--until, after a couple of drafts, I confessed in the poem that I never been to the source of the Mississippi river.

I tried writing about the sound of the river--which, blog, you know I have not heard--and I was proud of describing its gristle.

I really have been trying to write something that changes color each time it is read.

I have been trying to write something that burns up like a comet, touching earth's atmosphere.

I have been trying to write the salt that heals wounds.

I have been trying to write kinship that messes up edges.

Blog, I am confessing to you what I am not able to write.

Blog, a poem should be transparent about what it cannot say.

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